I recently lost my baby girl, even though I was only thirteen weeks I cant seem to get over this, any advice?

Last Monday I rushed into the ER to find that my little girl was no longer alive. And after what seemed like a never ending night I went home. Since then I havent done anything, Ive spent a week from work, havent cleaned, really even slept or ate. Everyone expects me to be okay already, but Im not and I dont know if I can be againI recently lost my baby girl, even though I was only thirteen weeks I cant seem to get over this, any advice?
I'm so sorry. It will take time and as the days pass you will start feeling a little bit better. It is important that you let those close to you know how you are feeling so that they can give you all the support that you need right now. Hope you feel better...I recently lost my baby girl, even though I was only thirteen weeks I cant seem to get over this, any advice?
I am really very sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I don't know of any specific way to get over a loss; you might not ever get over it, but in time, will find that your grief has lessened. Time is the great healer.





Don't let anyone tell you it's time to get over it, or that you should be over it by now because everyone handles grief differently. After all, this is your daughter and you loved her.





A grief counselor might help, talking to your partner, taking personal time for yourself to meditate and reflect, pray if you are religious, focus on getting well. I'll be praying for you. Hang in there and God bless.





PS: Good ideas about the memorial tree / memorial garden. I think that's beautiful. To each of you who posted your own personal stories: I'm also sorry for your losses, as well.
I know that ';everyone'; expects it, but I don't, and you shouldn't expect it of yourself, either. No matter how far along the baby was, she was your little girl already. You loved her, and the dreams of her (it's hard to have to let go of those dreams. . .). It's hard to redirect where you thought your life, and hers, was going. You will probably never totally ';get over'; it. . . she will be with you in your thoughts the rest of your life. However, eventually it will get easier.





I would encourage you to find a support group. There are support groups for miscarriages, still born, and infant deaths. If you can find a good one, you will find it very, very helpful.





I lost my little boy to heart and lung defects a few months ago. I will probably think about him every day for the rest of my life, and I am okay with that. I would think there is something wrong with me if I didn't. However, I still go on. In fact, I am already dreaming of getting pregnant again. It will be scary though, the entire pregnancy.
My condolences on your loss. I know that you are hurting badly. The only advice that I can give you is what I would tell any one that suffered the loss of a loved one. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. It has only been a few days and you are not on a schedule. Most of my immediate family has passed away and what I noticed in the grieving process is that one day I would suddenly realize that the crushing grief did not seem so heavy. From that point on things got a little better every day. You will probably never forget this little one, but in time you will be able to move forward. Don't be impatient, be kind to yourself right now.
When I did find out I was pregnant it was the day I lost my baby boy. My periods was irregular and I didn't think anything about being pregnant I was 20 weeks and was so devastated I cried everyday all day didn't do anything but sleep I wanted him so bad I couldn't cope it was like I gave up on everything it took me a while to get through I'm not saying I still don't think about it I just think it wasn't meant to be. I can accept that I know he's in heaven and God will bless me and my husband with a healthy baby.
Sorry for your loss, it's never easy to lose a pg, but omg it was only last week, please don't be so hard on yourself you are allowed time to grieve. a week isn't exactly long at all (not in the slightest), but not doing anything is a concern, understand yes but it really shouldn't go on. You must eat and drink for your health, try to go back to work and start getting back on track with your life, and perhaps do something to make a memorial for your daughter, like plant a tree or a flower to commemorate her, something that you can go to and just cherish her memory.


Don't drown in depression darl you need to get on with life, get over your loss - NO, you may never get over that but find a place deep inside you that can put these emotions but still move on. It's not easy but you can do it and in time you will alright. it just takes time. but you need to take the first step in getting on with your life.
My sister lost a baby, the Sunday before Christmas a couple of years back and she still cries in the shower to this day. I will not lie to you and tell you everything will be ok....it will get better, but you will always have a place for your little angel in your heart! Just know that she is in heaven waiting for you and will be there at the Golden Gates to greet you and live in eternity in Heaven. Losing a child is probably the hardest loss in the world, but give yourself a little time to heal, then try for another baby. You have to think, maybe she would have had an extra chromosome or something. Those children can be born normally and then die within a year after you give birth. There is always a reason for everything, even though we may not understand it at the time.....life is a mystery.
its bad to lose a baby but remember you are young and it will be ok you have to get over this and its hard to tell how long it will take but you have to force yourself to get up and move on .its not easy but you get to a group of mothers that have lost their young and it will help. take care and get help from the doctor also it will pass you have to mourn for abit and then move on and you will have other babies did they find out why ? if not ask them why they may knwo. its sad but that life wasn't ready to come here and then god too kit for some reason it could be that it wasn't fully formed or soemthign missing and it was to your benefit to take it early and that is good for you and you can have others.
stupid people think that because you weren't pregnant long your fine... loss is loss, and it sucks!


plant a tree, or rosebush in memory of your daughter. You will be okay, but it may take a while. my friend lost her daughter a week before her due date 11 months ago. it was very tramatic, and it takes a long time to heal. I'm not going to be one of those idiots that says ';you'll have another one'; but my friend did go through a lot of healing when she got pregnant again, she is due in December, and it has helped her to be happy again. You'll never forget your daughter, give yourself as much time as you need to grieve her loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please just give yourself time. No one will ever understand the loss of losing an unborn child until they have experienced it themselves. There is no time limit to ';get over it';.... I lost my baby at 7 weeks, and sometimes it is still hard for me to this day, and that was 8 years ago, and I now have a 10month old. Just allow yourself to go through the experience and day by day you will start to heal... Good luck and god bless.
I'm sorry you went through this.


You will be ok again someday. But the reality of it is, you lost your child. Some people may not see it that way, that's their problem.


You need to grieve and there's nothing wrong with that. Take your time and remember, everything happens for a reason and what's meant to be will be.
i completely understand. i had a baby girl at full term. she was healthy and everything. however, the day i was bringing her home from the hospital, she started throwing up green stuff. i knew it wasnt normal b/c i have 2 other girls. she never made it home from the hospital. she only lived 9 days. she ended up having NEC. its been a year and i swear i will never be the same. but just look at it like this... she is in gods hands now and you know you will see her again one day. i ve been doctors, been on medication and everything. nothing helped. i deal with it by going to her grave, writing poetry about it, and just knowing that she is fine. i now know that she would've been better off with the lord than me b/c i dont think i could handle a sick child. i also tell myself that she is a little angel that the lord took back b/c she was she was extra special. if you ever need someone to talk to let me know...jenniferowen98@yahoo.com
I lost a little girl at 18 weeks and I know how painful it is. People who have never experienced a miscarriage can't understand your loss because to them it was a pregnancy not a baby. Time will help you heal. We planted a memorial rose in our garden so as to acknowledge our baby. If it all seems to much get counselling to cope there are some great support groups your Doc can refer you to.
its only been a week. It is the exact same as losing a baby who has been born. I am very sorry for your loss. Remember there are support groups and people you can talk to if you need it. It takes time. Hang in there.





You were looking forward to this baby. Its crushing to have something like this happen. I am sorry, again.
First off, I am so sorry for your loss. Really.





Secondly, people shouldn't expect you to be alright already. This JUST happened. It is only normal to feel this way so soon after.





You need to grieve and you need someone who will listen and not brush it off.





Thirdly, you will never forget. Know it was not your fault. Unfortunately, these hurtful things do happen.





Remember and treasure the little time you had carrying your baby.
i'm so sorry once again so so sorry i do know how you feel the best way to get back into a normal routine is to stay busy and if you have to cry then cry your only human and keep family and friends close to you and if you ever want to talk about it do talk it our with someone you trust but always try to keep busy and stay positive for what you do have.


i'm so sorry once again
first let me offer my condolences on your loss. death is never easy but to lose a baby even though she was not born yet is still hard my mom had 2 pregnancies to end this way and it takes time that was over 40 years now and she still talks about both turn to a family member or cleregy man for strength and read Psalms 126:1-3 . I will keep you in prayer
I am so sorry. I lost my baby boy a year ago yesterday. His birthday was today. THey are wrong to do you like that. You need to do what you feel like doing. its been a year for me and it hurts and always will. Talk with a group if you need support. If you are in Alabama contact huntsville hosp and they have lots of supprt groups. I am sorry for your loss.
im sorry but i know how you feel. i lost my baby @ 12 weeks and it does hurt. my boyfriend and i broke up shortly after and there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about my baby.
I know it's hard. I lost a baby too and it's still hard for me at times. You need to take as much time as you need for this. Just don't give up all together.
You may feel like you did something wrong or that there's something wrong with you, but there isn't. Sometimes it just happens to the best of us. Don't give up or lose hope.
You'll be fine. Why not try again? If your of faith.. God did this for a reason. You will be okay again, it may take time but you will be.





God bless
first of all i am so sorry for your loss:(


second of all, tell your friends that you are really struggling through this. talk to your pastor.
maybe you should look into some grief counseling it couldn't hurt.
i cant do anything but just reading that it made me crii that sad im sorry
friends and pastor are great, but there are alot of miscarrige support groups out there. thats what helped me alot!
Lots of prayer and find a support group. You will never get over it, but in time you will heal from it. God Bless!
Jenn,


I am so sorry for your loss.


I also experienced the loss of my first child.


You are a mother forever.


TheCompassionateFriends.org - really helped me as they prepared me for the 5 stages of grief. I went to a local chapter for support, and they all had been in my shoes before this time, and that really helped me with the acceptance of my feelings and tears.


1. Denial


2. Anger


3. Bargaining - if I would have done that, then this would not have happened.


4. Depression


5. Acceptance





Ever loss of a child whether miscarriage, stillborn, or other death must be grieved. Some stay in denial forever and they stay stuck. The Compassionate Friends local support group helped me move forward, but they taught me that I am a mother of my child forever, and they are also in my shoes. At times, I shall cry for no reason and then I remember my Susan - and it's when I first found out I was pregnant and was so happy, or when it was 3 days before Christmas in 1988 when I went to the emergency room, and she was 2 months premature.


You will go with each stage and then back and forth between stages, and that's where support groups really help. These are the people that have gone through this same experience before me. They know what it is to experience the LOSS OF A LOVE.


I read many books by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross from thelibrary about facing the loss of a love.





In time, you may turn the ';lemon'; into ';lemonade'; by having a memorial in the memory of your child. You will find whatever works for you. I donated a bible at a Lutheran church in Pennsylvania, I donated a brick with her name and date she was born stilll in DISNEY in Florida. I donated towards a Viet Nam people's church in Phila. when they needed a church organ. I donated towards vestments and the building of a catholic high school in memory of my daughter. It doesn't matter what you give, but when you give you do so in memory of your daughter and that helps people today to live in a better world.


Some have given books on the loss of a love to THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS group, and then they have books to lend to those who go through this.





There are times when you remember - years later.





You are a parent forever. Just think - all of the parents who lose a child in a war, or car accident or drowning etc.


We are all part of the same universe.


Some think you have to get over it - on their timetable.


Not so!


You have the rest of your life to experience your feelings at your own pace.





GOD bless us always in all ways.


MBA-Boston Univ.


CPA-retired





My daughter, Susan, s/b 12/22/1988, - Yes she would have been 20 this year!


my only surviving daughter was born 11/10/1989 at 12:22 PM., and she was also 2 months premature.


Interesting huh - if you look at the time she was born.


I lost my marriage, eventually retired early from my job but I learned that I still had my own life, and sometimes that is enough. My ';friends'; stopped talking about my loss, and they did not want to hear about my feelings any more. I regained my self respect and self worth with the help of THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS. May GOD bless their help when we have no idea where to turn. Our friends who have not walked in our shoes have no idea. So it helps to surround yourself with those who can help you walk, jog or run again. They help you smile again, and that's a beautiful thing!